Wow-- this is has sparked some pretty interesting discussion.
First, I found this site through a link that a friend sent me-- I'm unsure how she found it.
Secondly, I'm not sure if this will come up as "anonymous" or "other" as I said, but if it is anonymous it's simply because I'm too lazy to sign up for an account that I would likely use just this once.
My name is Jessica, and I can be emailed at sg1girl2000@yahoo.com(don't ask--- stargate addiction. :D)
John, I'd like to address your orignial comment.
I agree that abuse is utterly horrible. No girl deserves to live like that, (and I've had people dear to me who've been in those hellish situations.
So let me ask you: What should we do about it? What happens to that girl after she has an abortion? Does the abuse stop? Or does she go to the abortion clinic *again* the next time her fathers rape produces evidence?
Oregon's daughters deserve better than that.
Under measure 43, if a girl is in that sort of a situation, she has the opportunity to get the help that she needs. She can talk to a judge who works with children in foster homes and abused situations to get OUT of abuse.
No girl should be sent back.
I'd be interested to know how you view this situation. Does my thought process follow through, or is there more that we can discuss?
I don't know. It's a topic I can easily get tired of -- it's all so depressing.
When the best-case scenario that's on offer is for a girl to skip school, ride a bus to Salem, plead her case before an overworked administrative law judge in some DHS office and scurry home without (somehow) being missed, and then have to go through a similar process to find (somehow) and reach (somehow) a clinic and then again (somehow) manage all that without being missed at home....
How many fifteen-year-olds do you know who could get through all that without breaking down?
And how many fiftee-year-olds do you know whom you would want to subject to it?
If a girl is in a situation where she has to use the bypass, there's a much bigger problem than the pregnancy which must be addressed.
Furthermore, the meeting with the judge can be done over the phone from school, from home, from a friends house-- wherever.
And, I'm sorry, but if a girl can sneak out to get pregnant(somehow) and go to a clinic(somehow) to have an abortion without her parents knowing(somehow), she can meet with a judge over the phone.
How depressing to think that an abused girl is instead going to sneak off to have an abortion and then go back to the abuse.
That's not just depressing-- that's sickening.
What do you suggest we do to help these girls? An abortion doesn't make the abuse go away-- just the evidence of it. She deserves better than that, doesn't she?
Actually, I can't really agree with that statement. I've known too many good families who didn't knokw that their daughters were having sex. It's not too difficult for a girl to lie about where she's going. So her boyfriend pressures her into meeting him, she sneaks out, and the rest is history. Is the family to blame? Well, I don't know-- I suppose they could have followed her everywhere she went....
My point is that this happens to good families. Good girls make mistakes, get pregnant, and don't want to tell their parents that their lovely daughter has been lying to them. Trust me, not a fun conversation.
Yes, there are cases where there is dysfunction in the home, but I don't think it's fair to generalize all teen abortions as stemming from that. The Alan Guttmacher Institute has reported that less than half of all teens tell their parents before an abortion. I don't believe for one second that the majority of these girls come from bad homes. If anything, the better the home, the less you want to admit you've screwed up.
For the sake of discussion, though, let's talk about this dysfunctional home. Okay, so the girl has found herself pregnant. She aboslutely, positively cannot tell her parents.
You asked if M43 would help or hurt in these situations. I say it would help.
If there is such serious dysfunction in the home, this girl shouldn't have to live there. She deserves better than a secret abortion and a ticket back to her abusive family.
This law would keep these girls from slipping through the cracks like they do now.
As a side note, the Yes on 43 tv ads are online--- you might be interested to see what they say:
Yes, I watched them. Exactly the kind of content-free sleazy manipulation I expected.
I was especially struck by the libellous protrayal of the silent, bored, contemptuous boyfriend. Speaking as a man who loves women, I resent the characterization.
7 comments:
Wow-- this is has sparked some pretty interesting discussion.
First, I found this site through a link that a friend sent me-- I'm unsure how she found it.
Secondly, I'm not sure if this will come up as "anonymous" or "other" as I said, but if it is anonymous it's simply because I'm too lazy to sign up for an account that I would likely use just this once.
My name is Jessica, and I can be emailed at sg1girl2000@yahoo.com(don't ask--- stargate addiction. :D)
John, I'd like to address your orignial comment.
I agree that abuse is utterly horrible. No girl deserves to live like that, (and I've had people dear to me who've been in those hellish situations.
So let me ask you: What should we do about it? What happens to that girl after she has an abortion? Does the abuse stop? Or does she go to the abortion clinic *again* the next time her fathers rape produces evidence?
Oregon's daughters deserve better than that.
Under measure 43, if a girl is in that sort of a situation, she has the opportunity to get the help that she needs. She can talk to a judge who works with children in foster homes and abused situations to get OUT of abuse.
No girl should be sent back.
I'd be interested to know how you view this situation. Does my thought process follow through, or is there more that we can discuss?
~Jessica
It appears that there is suddenly silence on this topic.
That's too bad-- I had so been looking forward to a debate. :)
I don't know. It's a topic I can easily get tired of -- it's all so depressing.
When the best-case scenario that's on offer is for a girl to skip school, ride a bus to Salem, plead her case before an overworked administrative law judge in some DHS office and scurry home without (somehow) being missed, and then have to go through a similar process to find (somehow) and reach (somehow) a clinic and then again (somehow) manage all that without being missed at home....
How many fifteen-year-olds do you know who could get through all that without breaking down?
And how many fiftee-year-olds do you know whom you would want to subject to it?
Like I said, depressing.
If a girl is in a situation where she has to use the bypass, there's a much bigger problem than the pregnancy which must be addressed.
Furthermore, the meeting with the judge can be done over the phone from school, from home, from a friends house-- wherever.
And, I'm sorry, but if a girl can sneak out to get pregnant(somehow) and go to a clinic(somehow) to have an abortion without her parents knowing(somehow), she can meet with a judge over the phone.
How depressing to think that an abused girl is instead going to sneak off to have an abortion and then go back to the abuse.
That's not just depressing-- that's sickening.
What do you suggest we do to help these girls? An abortion doesn't make the abuse go away-- just the evidence of it. She deserves better than that, doesn't she?
Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
We're agreed that a teenaged girl sneaking out of the house to have an abortion is, one way or another, in a seriously dysfunctional situation.
The next question, then, is: will Measure 43 make things better, or worse?
Actually, I can't really agree with that statement. I've known too many good families who didn't knokw that their daughters were having sex. It's not too difficult for a girl to lie about where she's going. So her boyfriend pressures her into meeting him, she sneaks out, and the rest is history. Is the family to blame? Well, I don't know-- I suppose they could have followed her everywhere she went....
My point is that this happens to good families. Good girls make mistakes, get pregnant, and don't want to tell their parents that their lovely daughter has been lying to them. Trust me, not a fun conversation.
Yes, there are cases where there is dysfunction in the home, but I don't think it's fair to generalize all teen abortions as stemming from that. The Alan Guttmacher Institute has reported that less than half of all teens tell their parents before an abortion. I don't believe for one second that the majority of these girls come from bad homes. If anything, the better the home, the less you want to admit you've screwed up.
For the sake of discussion, though, let's talk about this dysfunctional home. Okay, so the girl has found herself pregnant. She aboslutely, positively cannot tell her parents.
You asked if M43 would help or hurt in these situations. I say it would help.
If there is such serious dysfunction in the home, this girl shouldn't have to live there. She deserves better than a secret abortion and a ticket back to her abusive family.
This law would keep these girls from slipping through the cracks like they do now.
As a side note, the Yes on 43 tv ads are online--- you might be interested to see what they say:
YouTube Diner Ad URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E11ZZp54xdA
YouTube DVD URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93O2Qu2zKI0
Yes, I watched them. Exactly the kind of content-free sleazy manipulation I expected.
I was especially struck by the libellous protrayal of the silent, bored, contemptuous boyfriend. Speaking as a man who loves women, I resent the characterization.
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